We may have journeyed down this road in our childhood, teen years, and even in our adult lives. No matter how old we are, the feelings of loneliness and abandonment are very real and do not feel any less painful. As adults we have the responsibility of coming alongside our children when they ask these heart-wrenching questions. And we know the pain. We feel it all over again.
I've never understood blatant rejection. You give your heart to a friend, try to be honest, and they totally reject your attempt at a genuine relationship--one that requires communication. Someone you thought was a forever friend becomes what may seem like a figment of your imagination and you ask yourself if it was all a dream. You realize that what you thought was a friendship that had taken root and was healthy had no roots at all. Maybe there were roots on your side, but the other side pulled up and left without need of any gardening tools--no cutting necessary. And there you are...still partially rooted in the ground with the bare ends of your roots naked, exposed, and gasping for the rich soil you thought was friendship. The person walked away without ever looking back. We don't have to look far to see this around us. Spouses leave. Friends leave. Parents leave. Children leave.
I ran across a blog this morning that quoted from a sermon by T.D. Jakes:
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible said "They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
These are powerful words. I plan to share these with others, and also heed them myself. I know there must be something freeing about arriving at this place of release. I am praying earnestly that someone dear to me will reach this place very soon. I pray also for the countless others who find themselves asking the heart-wrenching question, "Why don't they love/want me?" I pray God will fill in those empty places with His binding and forever love.
He knows the feeling of rejection. Jesus was rejected in his own hometown. He was rejected by the religious leaders. He was rejected by his own followers and closest friends. Even God the Father, for the necessary brief time, turned His back on Jesus when he took on the sins of the world. JESUS KNOWS REJECTION. And He lives. He lives to give us freedom from this horrible feeling. Because of His suffering, the believer will NEVER be rejected by God.
Though these words won't always ring loudly to a young child or a teenage girl, they need to be said over and over again. It is our responsibility to write scripture on the walls, the foreheads, and the hearts of our children. We can also be a light to others who are hurting and need to hear these words. The Word of the Lord will not return void. We may not see it blossom. We may not see it take root. But we must sew it on dry, starving, and hurting souls. God will take care of the rest.
Let them go.