Not a deep post today...just some random thoughts. Today I decided to clean out the bathroom cabinets. This is a prime example of why I dread deep cleaning. I can work for over an hour and accomplish a tremendous amount of cleaning. I cleaned out all the bathroom drawers and cabinets by throwing away anything expired or that I haven't used in over a month.
Two garbage bags later (large ones, I might add) I was feeling quite clean and organized. I kept my good facial cleansers that I use daily, I have one travel bag that has a lot of small travel sized items in it, I have my drawers with toothpaste and contacts, and a few shelves of lotions and other things I use almost daily. As I walked out of the bathroom feeling very proud of what I'd accomplished, I stopped and looked around the bedroom at the clutter. Immediately I felt defeated. It is a never-ending battle.
I am not a hoarder. I watch that show on television sometimes and sadly I feel HORRIBLE for the people who have that sickness, and on the other hand I feel grateful I am not living like that. But then I look at my bookshelf and wonder why I can't throw anything away. I don't need to keep those books. I can't think of anyone who would want them. I have tried to sell them to the used book store for store credit and the store doesn't want them....so why can't I throw them away????? Something about books makes me feel so guilty for them sitting on the shelf, yet worse if I were to chunk them! If I had written a book and saw it in the garbage can I would be totally offended! Yet, they are just taking up much needed breathing room in my house and spirit. Someone please give me permission to throw away some books or tell me what to do with them so I won't feel so guilty!
Today helped. That bottle of lotion that smelled so good in the store, but yet I NEVER use it because ....well I really don't know why.....I threw away. Two garbage bags full of those scenarios makes me a free woman. But the sinking feeling comes when I realize that I need to do this EVERYWHERE under the surface of my home. It's the things you don't see. The cabinets, the drawers, the closets.....they all need a big dumpster waiting outside to haul off the things that I think someone would want, but of course they don't. It's like driving around in circles....it seems I never get anywhere.
I want to feel great about the bathroom...and yet I throw my hands up in despair because the rest of the house needs attention, too and I just don't want to spend the entire day throwing things away. Maybe I can muster up enough will power to do one more drawer.....or not.
Maybe I shall take a nap.
I'll decide later.