God's plan is perfect. When my children were born, I was so busy taking care of their hour to hour (or minute to minute) needs that I didn't ponder on God's will for their lives much in the very beginning. But as the years have been passing by, I do. I wonder what they will be, what they will do, who they will marry, the places they will travel to, and so many other things. I have moments where my chest tightens, my breathing shallows, and my eyes well will tears that eventually spill over in prayer. It's at those moments I realize that I am not in control. Only God has the plan. I can teach them, model what I want them to learn, love them, care for their needs, feed and clothe them, provide all I can to prepare them for what God has planned for them. Am I doing a good enough job? Am I giving them all the bits of knowledge I can before they are out of my grasp? All this pondering leads to panic at times. Panic that I bring on myself. It is then that God reminds me once again that He has the plan, it is His plan, and He will see it to completion. Phew! That is a relief. I am learning to let go of things that once bothered me greatly. Grades lower than "A" on a test, forgotten homework once in period of a month (yes, ridiculous, I know), and so many other unimportant things.
I watch my students at school struggling to "make the grade", take the "right" class, and apply to the "right" college. But are they really becoming who God ordained them to be or who others expect them to be? We have been discussing our classical method of training our students at the school where I work. We are on a fast-moving train that is gaining speed at an uncontrollable pace it seems. We have been discussing ways to slow the train down and really look at how we are teaching. A question that has come up many times is "What is the outcome of an education?" It has become college acceptance. But, the outcome of a true education is virtue. People say they believe that, and then their actions continue at the pace of that fast moving out of control train. The train to get into the college they think they are supposed to go to. If college is a goal for some, I wish they would look at how many colleges are out there. It doesn't matter where you go. No one will even know where you went ten years from now. I have a Bachelors degree and a Masters Degree, and it really doesn't matter where they are from. They happen to be from two very good schools with good reputations....but that really doesn't matter. God has a plan. His plan may include college for my children. I pray that I will be open to allowing my children to pursue worthwhile passions, develop talents, pursue virtue, and become the young woman God intends for them to become. I don't have the perfect school picked out for them. It doesn't matter if they don't want to go to my Alma mater. What matters is that they are happy and educated. God will take care of the rest. Life may seem competitive, but God is in control. We need to let him drive and we need to let go of the map we create for ourselves.
Stop the train. I think I'll walk. The view is much better.