Sunday, October 11, 2009

Forgettable?

I recently spent some time with someone I considered a pretty good friend of mine. We talked for quite some time about many things, getting to know one another a bit better. It was a delightful conversation. I learned so many things about this person and enjoyed listening. I left my time with them refreshed. Over the course of several days after, I would have other opportunities to sit down and talk with this person. I noticed, though that every time we would talk, they would tell me the same things they had already shared with me as if they were new. They also asked me questions about myself that I had already shared with them in our previous time together. I left my time with this friend wondering if I was a forgettable person. They remembered nothing. NOTHING about me. I hate to admit it, but I was crushed.



Am I that plain? Are my facial features so common and plain that people don't remember me? Is my personality so colorless that I just bleed into the walls around me? I have to admit, I am beginning to wonder. This isn't the first time this has happened. Come to think of it, it happens more than I really would like to admit. I guess the thing that hurts the most is that I remember. I remember things that people tell me most of the time. I genuinely care and want to remember things about others. Yes, I forget things, and I know I'm guilty of forgetting things others have shared with me also, but this was blatantly staring me in the face as something that I've noticed quite a bit lately. I took my concerns to the Lord and He reminded me like only the Creator can:



Psalm 139
O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me

were written in your book before one of them came to be.



I was also burdened with the realization that I am guilty of the very thing that crushed my spirit. Do I passively read God's word? Do I listen half-hearted to His teachings? Do I listen with the intent to remember and NEVER FORGET? How often I fall short of listening, remembering and writing on my own heart the things that God wants me to know about Him.

I fall so short. I wonder if it crushes His heart when I do not listen and remember.
The psalmist goes on to say this:
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

How precious are His thoughts to me? Am I listening to Him tell me all the wonderful things about Him? Are they so precious to me that I remember and long to hear more?


Lord, thank you for loving me and KNOWING me. Thank you for the comfort that it brings knowing that You know EVERYTHING about me. Help me to seek after You to KNOW you and remember everything about You. And maybe in the deepening of my relationship with You, the characteristics and features of my soul that reflect You will stick with others around me and I will be UNforgettable because others will see YOU so vividly through me.





No comments: