Sunday, May 10, 2009

"A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"

All was quiet. All was peaceful. Room was dark (thanks to special darkening blinds). And then my heart almost stopped. I awoke to the door BUSTING OPEN and loud yells......

(phew----a moment to adjust!!!)

The two most beautiful gifts with smiles a mile wide stood before me! My beautiful children. The most precious gifts I've ever received. Thank you, Lord for your blessings!

Homemade gifts in hand, wrapped in an entire roll of wrapping paper, they climbed up on the bed and the day began! Poetry and pictures and breakfast in bed! (and a Starbucks card and DAISIES!!! from my hubby) What a wonderful way to start the day.

I talked to my own Mother this morning. She is a gem. I love her so. I wish I could shower her with pampering today.....home-cooked lunch, a trip to get nails done, etc...

The day I became a Mother, God gave me a gift. Yes, my children are the best gift from my Heavenly Father. But He gave me another gift--one that is forever ingrained in my mind and heart. Having children has given me a glimpse into the heart of God. The love that He has
for me. The unconditional, "love-you-so-much-I'd-die-for-you" kind of love. I had a "head" knowledge of God's love. I had felt His love for me. But I never really began to understand His love until I had children of my own. I would do anything for my children. I would love to be able to shelter them from heartache and protect them from hurt and disappointment....but when they need my discipline, it is my love for them that allows me to discipline and guide them. Sometimes they may be upset with me, but I know that it is for their own good. God has allowed me to see that on multiple occasions and continually reminds me of His love for me. A love that comforts, guides, prunes and cuts away, gives and takes, grieves, labors, delights and celebrates.

Thank you, Lord for loving me, for giving me a wonderful Mother, and for allowing me to mother two of your precious children....and allow me to call them my own!

Monday, May 4, 2009

How did it get so late so soon?

"How did it get so late so soon?
Its night before its afternoon.
December is here before its June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?”
~Dr. Suess

I have been saying "live in the moment" at least once a day this year. I seem to preach it every day in class. I have realized....(gasp! cough! sputter!) that I do not always practice what I preach. We are nearing the end of yet another school year. There is a new "senior class" that is preparing to spread their wings and fly the coop. Some can't get out fast enough. Others are quite emotional and are going through the pains of reality that things must come to an end.

I often look at my children and sigh with relief. I have time. They are so young.

And then I panic.

I gasp again when I realize that time is really running out. Am I teaching them all I need to teach them? Am I using my time wisely and teaching and molding during the years when they are the most receptive? I know that there will come a day soon that they won't want to hear what I have to say. I pray that time doesn't last too long. I pray that they don't write off my motherly wisdom forever. But I already see signs of them questioning my knowledge on subjects that I have quite a bit of expertise in. Yes, I know. I can hear all the moms of teenagers saying their favorite line..."You just wait. You haven't seen anything yet." Don't they think I know this??? Don't they realize that I lay awake at night sometimes...heart pounding....fretting over this? There are times when it hits me so strongly I can hardly breathe. We are not promised tomorrow. I may think I have years with my girls. Years to mold them and teach them. But in truth, I don't know if I have tomorrow. I must use each day and each moment as if it were my last. This can be exhausting. It could take up every minute of my day. It is overwhelming to even think about.

I am trusting God to allow me to open my eyes and ears and be more sensitive to the words of my children. Really talk to them. Not just "instruct" them. Oh...I'm good at instructing!!
Get your homework done!
Pick up your clothes.
Hang up your towel.
Be nice.
Get ready for bed.
Go wash your hands!
Take a bath!
Do your chores!
Tell her your sorry!
Say thank you.
Clean up your mess!

Today I took a deep breath and looked at my children. I took the time to listen to their conversations and questions. (It is quite exhausting at times! Questions...questions!) But I answered them with care instead of haste today. I also took time to laugh with them and joke with them. There were some teachable moments that I actually remember and we actually learned from.

And my heart was calm, my spirit more peaceful, my attitude brighter...

And my children seemed to mirror those characteristics.
They may not have been quiet....but they had a more peaceful look on their faces throughout the afternoon.

I hope I can remember this tomorrow. I pray that God will continue to teach me to practice what I preach and LIVE IN THE MOMENT...and live with a quiet heart. My children will take their cues from me. No wonder they seem so stressed sometimes! Lord, help me! Show me how to calm my own spirit so I can in turn give them the freedom to rest. Rest in their spirits and in their minds.

My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.
~Psalm 131:1-2