There she is......Miss America!

When I was growing up I never missed the Miss America pageant.  I always made sure I had all my homework, practicing and chores finished so I would be able to sit uninterrupted and watch the pageant.  I dreamed of being Miss America.   After watching, I would play “Miss America Pageant” for hours in my room.  I would walk the runway, accept the crown, bend down and look shocked as the former Miss America tries to pin the crown in place, pretend to cry, and wave at my imaginary audience looking overwhelmed, humbled and excited.  I never watched the “other” pageant.  (Miss USA)  I respected the Miss America Pageant and foundation for promoting inner beauty, intelligence, good public speaking skills, and my favorite---the talent competition.  Over the years I have watched some incredible talent grace the Miss America stage.  I remember Susan Powell (Miss Oklahoma) claimed the 1981 Miss America title.  She was a vocal performance major at Oklahoma City University.  She performed a rendition of "Lucy's Aria" from Gian Carlo Menotti's opera, The Telephone.  I can still hear and see her singing it in my memory today.  Gretchen Carlson (Fox News Anchor) not only won Miss America in 1989, but she also won the preliminary talent competition with her classical violin solo.  The talent portion has always been my favorite portion of the pageant. 

I started to lose interest in the Miss America pageant in 1997 when the total focus of the pageant became the fact that it would be the first year the contestants could wear two-piece swimsuits.  It was the only thing they talked about and it overshadowed everything else in the pageant.  The girls got skinnier and more like super models instead of normal healthy young women.

This year I used the DVR so I could watch it later.  I noticed that everyone wears two pieces now.  I am sure this has been the norm ever since 1997.  I was struck by how extremely thin and “chiseled” the women looked.   If the swimsuit portion was unimpressive to me, the evening gown competition was a glaring look into the minds of our young women today.  The selection of the evening gown was to show the contestants’ taste, confidence and flair for fashion.  They were recorded talking about how they felt in their gown, why they chose the gown, or something along that line of questioning. 

Here are a few quotes from the evening gown portion of the pageant that particularly caught my attention:

"My gown definitely has a little bit of a sex appeal to it.  It has a high slit, a low cut, but is basically just showcasing the body that I’ve worked so hard on my entire life."  (Miss Illinois)

"In today’s society, ‘sexy’ is very subjective and so is ‘beauty’.   So for me, Miss America being sexy is rocking a stylish outfit, looking hot, and also appealing to young women who are trying to relate to her." (Miss California)

"I think Miss America is sexy.  And Miss America does need to be sexy because it is all about sex appeal these days.  I think being sexy is being confident with who you are and being able to strut your stuff in any given situation and know that you are sexy while doing it.”  (Miss Alabama)

I have always held the Miss America pageant up to be "ideal" pageant because it focused on scholarship, whole beauty, all-around character, talent, and intelligence.  I admired the women of years past.  They were beautiful, yet normal.  Not anymore.  

I would love to sit and watch the pageant with my girls.  I did it once.  We played "interview" during the commercials and video-taped their answers.  I had them walk into the room and introduce themselves with a "one-liner" about their state.  It was so much fun.  Now, I hesitate to watch it with them because of the image it portrays as "ideal".  I don't want my girls growing up focused on their body....focused on being "hot" or "sexy" because that is what is expected from the all-American girl.  

I pray we can reclaim innocence, true beauty....loveliness......intelligence....things to be proud of.  I fear it will only get worse.  Come on, moms.  Don't try to let your girls grow up too fast by wearing clothes that are so fashion-forward that they are immodest.  Don't let them begin wearing make up so soon.  They are beautiful young girls who are being led to believe by society that their appearance is flawed and not good enough.  We need to stop talking about our weight and start talking about our health.  Dads need to step in and reassure their daughters of their beauty....their natural beauty.  They need to set the tone for their wardrobe by going shopping with their daughters.  Fathers need to look their daughters in the eyes and tell them how beautiful they are.  

So, my days of the annual Miss America event at home have come to an end.  It makes me sad.  I have such fond memories of it.  I even had the Miss America Barbie doll!  It was never about the body.  It was always about poise, intelligence, and the talent.  Why am I surprised when I look at society today.  Magazines, clothes, commercials for lingerie during prime time television hours, and airbrushing being offered on your child's school pictures to "fix" their imperfections.  

I will be on my knees a little longer tomorrow for my daughters.  

Will you join me?

Be still

One thing I have particularly enjoyed since I have been home this week is the opportunity to be still.  I almost missed this opportunity by trying to fit in everything I needed to do before Christmas....including socialize with friends.  Amidst the trips to Target and fighting traffic, I have taken time to be at home with a cup of coffee, my Bible, and the fireplace.

It amazes me how hard it is for people to be still.  Even when we have the opportunity to sit still, we don't.  We live in an electronic world that exists on sound bites.  We Google what we want to know and as soon as we've read the part of the information that gives us the answer, we move on.   We shuffle to our favorite song on our Ipod, listen to our favorite part, and then shuffle on to the next one.  We change the channel on the TV every chance we get to see what might be better on another channel.  We avoid live productions that we can't "mute" or "fast forward".  We choose DVD's and sound bites so we can stop and start at will, rewind when we missed something because we were talking, and come back to it later when we feel like it.

I have tried an experiment in my classes this year.  I have chosen a piece of choral music that lasts at least 3 1/2 minutes long.  It seems that 2-3 minutes is the maximum amount of time people will sit without "needing" to make a comment, think about something else, get bored, make eye contact with another individual, or fidget.  I will continue to play music for my students to practice the art of listening and being "in the moment".  I don't really know how to fix this glaring problem.  We can't take away progress and remove all their gadgets.  Teachers feel so defeated at times that we lower our expectations because we feel people aren't capable of listening or that we won't be supported by parents.
Society makes excuses for people who won't listen by blaming the teacher for being boring, the subject matter for being outdated, the method of delivery for only reaching one type of learner, and the list goes on.  I don't want to compete with gadgets and Hollywood style visuals.  God gave us five senses.  One of them is hearing.  I don't want my children to only hear what they want to hear.  I want them to learn to be still so they can hear the Lord.  I know God is capable of piercing the noise and pushing His voice through the noise of the world.  I don't know if He will always choose to do so.  "Be still and know that I am God."  If I don't learn to listen I will never hear my Shepherd's voice amid the noise and clamor.  Just like we savor a yummy piece of cake or our favorite dessert to the very last morsel, we should be still and quiet long enough to taste the very last morsel that God has for us in a song, in a scripture passage, in the words of someone older, wiser, and slower, or in a story.  It is important to remember that we have to learn to listen.  I don't want to teach my children that it is the responsibility of others to entertain them and keep their attention.  If they want to learn, they must choose to listen and learn.  I want my children to be responsible for learning.  I hope they will love learning and that those teaching them are passionate for their subjects, but I don't want them to expect entertainment.  I want them to learn to listen......really listen.

Don't fill the silence.   Oftentimes it is in the silence that God reveals Himself.  It is also in the silence that our minds are allowed to process information.  If we dump all the ingredients to make bread in a bowl and do not allow time for them to incorporate and blend evenly, our bread will not rise or bake correctly. Let's allow time for the ingredients of life to rise and blend.

Be still.
It's hard work, but will reap great results.

And the award goes to......everyone.

It has been a very long time since I've written a blog post.  There have been many times over the last several months that I have had thoughts of topics I would like to write about and then I would forget them. I always thought I should take time to jot my initial thought down to remind myself later, but life always got in the way.  My job tends to run my day and my thoughts are usually put aside until another time....and then I can't remember what it was I was pondering.  I don't even know if I would consider it "pondering".  To ponder is to consider something deeply and thoroughly.  The nature of my days have not allowed for deep or thorough thinking.  My pondering begins and ends as a fleeting thought, much like a bubble that dissolves before you have a chance to even catch or pop it on your own.  Over the last couple of days I have been on Christmas break and have found a few hours where my mind has been allowed to linger passed the fleeting thought and actually step into the land of pondering.  It feels rather strange.  I hope I am able to make sense.

One thing that has been on my mind lately is the idea of rewards and expectations.   I was brought up to understand that there were things that were expected of me and it was my job to make sure I did those things.  There would be no payment for following through with what was expected of me.   It seems that over the years the idea that doing what is expected entitles people to being rewarded in some way.  If you are on a recreational sports team you receive a medal or trophy at the end of the season for simply being on the team.  Everyone gets an award.  I remember receiving my very first trophy for actually being the sole winner for an event I was participating in.  I was the only recipient of the award and it really meant something to me.  I notice that when my children get medals for being on a team, they often get thrown in the corner, lost in the back seat of the car because they never made it out of the car in the first place.  The award meant nothing to them.  I receive a pay check every two weeks for doing my job.  I don't get more money in a salaried job because I meet the expectations of my employer every day.  Exceeding the expectations of my employer might result in a bonus at the end of the year, a promotion, or an award of some kind.  If I do not meet the basic expectations of my employer I will, however receive a penalty, a reprimand, an infraction, a demotion, or lose my job completely.  The "reward" for meeting expectations is knowing I am doing the right thing, doing my job well,  and having a sense of peace.    If I find I am not meeting expectations, my peaceful existence is interrupted by the need to do better, being reprimanded by my superior, stress, urgency, and if bad enough, the possibility that I may need to look for another job.  Law enforcement does not reward me for driving the speed limit.  The IRS does not reward me for paying my taxes.  The power company does not give me more power for paying my bill on time.  

I remember teaching at a school back in the early 90's.  We had a new principal who was very big on self esteem and making sure every child felt important.  A teacher was called to a meeting with the principal and a parent of one of her students over a math grade.  The student earned a "D" on the report card.  The parent was upset because their child received a D and they didn't understand why.  The student seemed to know the material and did okay on tests.  The teacher showed the parent and principal that the student had failed to complete the majority of their homework assignments, did average on tests, and did minimal work in the classroom.  The principal began to question the teacher in front of the parent about the homework assignments.  The teacher gave examples where the student was expected to complete 10 math problems for homework and had only attempted two or three.  The principal told the teacher that if the student did two out of the ten problems assigned and did them correctly that she should award the student a grade of 100 on what they accomplished.  The teacher was speechless.  The principal made her change the grade.  I'll never forget that day as long as I live.  This particular teacher had been teaching for many more years than I had and she was completely baffled at the turn of events.  The student continued to do less than what was expected in the classroom and as little as possible.  I often wonder what became of him.  During this same year one of the special area teachers decided to run a contest between all their classes to see who was on time, on task, in their seats, in attendance, stations cleaned, etc....and the winning class would hold the trophy for that month.  Each month the class with the most points would hold the trophy.  The same principal stopped the contest because it meant that there would be classes that did not have the trophy because they did not exceed the expectations.  She was afraid this would damage their self esteem.  I think that is when I really saw the shift in thinking, especially in education.

I pray that I never fall victim to this way of thinking in my own parenting.   We might as well have no expectations and just allow people to do what they want to.  No one wants expectations to be outlined for them, but they sure have their own set of expectations on what they should receive for doing any work at all.

Good and honest labor.  Where did that idea go?  I used to have to go out and pick up the rotten citrus that had fallen off the many trees in our backyard when I was a child.  I can imagine the answer and reaction I would have received from my father had I told him how many pieces I had picked up and what I should receive for each one.  I knew what I would receive if I didn't pick up the fruit!

Thank you for the privilege to live in peace when I do my work. Lord, help me reward when it's worthy, award when there is merit, and praise when praise is due.

Glitter and Glue

When I was a little girl I loved the days my teacher would pull out the bottles of glitter for art projects.  I remember one project in particular.  We were to use our bottle of Elmer's Glue to make any design we wanted on the construction paper.  We could write our name, draw a picture, or do any random design we wanted to.  Such freedom!  So many choices!  I decided I was going to do as many swirls and loops as I could fit on the page.  Then we were to take the glitter and sprinkle it all over our paper.  We could use one color or mix them.  There was gold, silver, red, blue and green glitter.  So many choices!  What was a girl to do?  Use them all, of course!  I began sprinkling each color at random all over my paper of glue swirls and by the time I finished it was covered in glitter and quite a mess......ugly actually.  I looked at the girl's paper next to me and she had used only three colors of glitter and was very careful how she placed it.  (The inside of her desk was also clean.)   Oh well.  What was done was done.  I would just have to wait to see how mine would turn out.   We were to wait until the Elmer's glue had time to dry.  I was a little worried because I had used quite a bit of glue on my paper.   Our teacher probably read us a book in another part of the room to distract us and get us away from our desks....but most likely this was after a bathroom break and a good hand washing.  When the distraction period was over she sent us back to our desks to finish our masterpiece.  We all patiently waited while the garbage can was brought around the room to each desk so we could dispose of our excess glitter.  This is when the magic happened.  As I let the glitter slide off the construction paper it revealed a beautifully designed masterpiece of swirls, loops and squiggles in beautiful colors.  I was amazed!

I was praying the other morning on the way to work and asking God to order my steps.  I have quite a bit on my mind and I am working on sifting through it all.  I asked God to bring clarity to how to prioritize and see what was truly important.  As I was praying, God reminded me that He has designed my life.  He has a beautiful plan for me.  I have to continually fix my eyes on Him in order to follow this plan.  Oftentimes there are distractions along the way that get me off track.  I am distracted by things that are more attractive......like the glitter bottles in all the colors of the rainbow!  Sometimes by our own doing...and sometimes by life's circumstances we get our beautifully designed masterpiece of glue covered in so much glitter that we can no longer see the intended design.  Life gets messy.  As I continued to pray I asked the Lord to help me blow away the excess and unnecessary glitz and glitter and make clear what He wanted me to focus on and do.  He allowed me to see that in doing this brings peace......His peace.  God also showed me that as I begin to blow away the excess glitter around my life I am seeing how much time and effort has been wasted in things not of eternal value.  What began as beautiful bottles of glitter in specific and intentional colors have become an unintentional and unidentifiable mess.

I am taking my paper to the garbage can and asking the Lord to help me blow away the excess.  I want to see what is left behind.  I know it will be beautiful.....and just the thought of that brings me peace.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."
Isaiah 26:3

The Death of Manners and Etiquette

Over the last week I have traveled by plane and been in several situations where I have had many teachable moments with my children.  We have had times to wait, times to be flexible, times to show kindness, and times to compromise.  I think the thing that confuses me is that it seems that no one else in America is teaching or learning these important lessons.  I don't mean to be pessimistic.  Actually I am hoping that others feel the same way and that we can all ban together to have a resurgence of manners and etiquette and good old decency in our world....one family at a time.

While flying this past week, I had the pleasure of sitting in front of small children who kick the seat and are not taught that it is not good manners to do that.  While pondering why their parents weren't putting a stop to it, the father proceeded to use the top back of my airline seat to brace himself each and every one of the billion times he needed to stand and stretch and sit back down again.  When he finally got settled and comfortable he began his exercise routine of tapping his foot against the bottom bar of the seat.  Suppose he was nervous?  Stressed?  I am sure he was.  The father also allowed the child to take all the magazines and airline safety cards out of the seat back pockets over and over again as a game to occupy him, all the while I had the pleasure of having my seat pulled and knocked each and every time he opened and closed the pocket.  I won't even mention the seat back trays.  I figure you get the picture.  Finally the sweet little angel settled down with his electronic device (that had never been turned off during take off) and began to play his game.....without earplugs.  Loud rhythmic sounds in the background accompanied the shots from an animated gun that had high pitched shots and bombs.   Ahhh, just what I wanted to hear as I tried to read.  Getting off a plane is always an experience.  People begin standing in the aisles in an attempt to jump ahead of anyone they can to get out as soon as possible.  Can people not learn to be patient and wait until it is their turn to exit one row at a time off the aircraft?  Wedding etiquette (which has also gone to pot) used to have ushers exiting each row one row at a time so there is not so much congestion at the door of the church.  There ARE reasons for procedures and they are often times for order and efficiency.  Moving on to the baggage claim area we found ourselves lining up for the long wait for the luggage to enter the claim area.  I stood back about two or three feet from the moving belt in order to be able to see the luggage as it would come around the corner.  A woman saw what she thought was an "opening" and jumped in front of me as quickly as she could and brought a horde of people with her.  Everyone rushed to stand with their knees touching the belt so they could lean over and try to see the luggage.  The teacher in me had to restrain myself from clapping my hands, snapping my fingers and instructing everyone:

"Stand back away from the belt so everyone will have a good view of the luggage.  When you see your luggage step forward, claim it and move aside."

It was hard.  I said it several times under my breath.  To my disappointment it was a push and shove race to see who could grab their luggage first.

My children are far from perfect.  My children have had their share of moments where I felt like I had no control.  But it seems like more and more the control is falling into the hands of the children of America just like the Wii remote.  The moments parents used to feel helpless are happening on a daily basis instead of being rare occurrences.  Children today demand instant attention and results...and for some reason parents seem to feel as if it is their obligation to answer their every whim.

Manners and etiquette are good.  Let's brush off our Emily Post books or look it up online for goodness sake.

Man your battle stations!  This is war!

Can't put it down and can't pick it up!

I have always loved to read.  I love to go into a library and smell the books.  I also love the smell of a bookstore.  I don't always get to read during the school year as leisurely as I do during the summer, but I still try to always have a good book on my nightstand.

I have always had to be careful about reading.  I tend to get very caught up in the stories and can't put them down.  Good fiction, especially historical fiction, is one of my favorite types of entertainment.  I get very involved in the story and the lives of the characters and feel as if I know each and every person in the story personally.  I find myself mentally living there with them in the plot.

I recently went on a trip to the beach and bought a book for the trip that I have wanted to read for quite awhile.  After the first chapter, I knew it was a good one.  (I try to give a book three chapters before I toss it in the corner and give up.)  I really enjoy reading at the beach because I don't feel guilty about reading the day away and even into the night.

The thing I dislike most about reading is when I read the last page.  I often want the story to continue, which is why I love historical fiction books in a series.  When the story is over in a series, there is usually another book waiting in the wings.  Not in the case of the book I read on vacation.   So, I headed to the bookstore with my discount card to buy me another book.  I had a very hard time finding something I wanted to read, but made a selection anyway.  I took the book home and it took me a couple of days before I could pick it up and get interested in starting another story.  I was still "mourning" the loss of my new friends in the last book.  I found myself wanting to know what happened to them.  (Yes, I know.....they aren't real people! haha)  I finally picked up the book and started it two nights ago.  I couldn't even make it through the first three chapters.  Every time I went to read I would read a few paragraphs and then put it back down again.  It did not hold my interest.  I ended up taking the book back and getting my money back.  I looked again, but came home with nothing.  I go through this pattern every time I read a really good book.  After supper tonight, we stopped by another bookstore.  A new sense of excitement filled me as I smelled the coffee and the books!  The selections were much better and I found one by an author I've never read before.  The caption on the front of the book by a critic said, "I read this book straight through."  Ahhhh.....  A book you can't put down.  This book was written during the same historical period as the last book I read and so I picked it up and took it to the counter.  The cashier was an older gentlemen who said, "My wife just finished this book and said it was even better than The Help by Katherine Stockard."  Really?  That was the book I had finished at the beach!  It was meant to be.  I look forward to reading The Dry Grass of August by Anna Jean Mayhew and will decide for myself.  The title is so colorful and descriptive.

I will need to read quickly because my next choice is To Kill A Mockingbird.  Classics should be read and read again.  I wish all students looked at summer reading with such joy and pleasure.  Thankfully my kids are readers and are now on book number two and three of several they will read this summer.  We bought them book lights that lay over the page so they can read at night when it's cooler in their room with the lights out.  Last night my youngest read for a long time down on the living room sofa with the lights out and the book light on because it was so cool downstairs.  I love that!  Today she finished Anne of Green Gables while I worked this morning at school.  I was shocked.  She read for two straight hours.  Tonight she begins Mr. Poppers Penguins and has already finished Sign of the Beaver.  My older daughter discovered the joy of reading in a chair on the beach.  She was amazed at how all the noise of the world is drowned out by the roar of the ocean.  She fell in love with reading on the beach.  Too bad it didn't happen until the last day!

I may be wilted, but I'm not dead!

I had a good chuckle over this today.  This is probably the best visual of where I am physically, mentally and spiritually.  I'm sure my husband is secretly chuckling to himself but for very different reasons....reasons that simply have to do with the fact I have never kept a plant alive----ever!

We were driving downtown the other night to my daughter's violin and piano recital when I suddenly GASPED in horror because I realized that I hadn't watered my tomato plant in days or maybe even over a week.  This is quite a sore spot with my husband.  Not the plant, but the GASPING in the car without warning.  He suddenly thinks he's about to have a wreck or hit something he doesn't see, when all the while I'm just in my own world panicking over things I have forgotten to do or turn off.  This is the story of my life.  Things get so busy that being still for even a short ride in the car can cause me to literally come unglued because my mind will "rest" on all the "unrest" or "undone" tasks.  I have been in bed recently and practiced breathing techniques I preach to my students all the time.  I try to fill my lungs with oxygen in order to calm my mind and body.  It hasn't been working.  I don't sleep.  I wake up frequently in the night.  When I try to connect with God I feel like I can only get so far but my soil is never quite quenched.  I watered this sad tomato plant this morning.  I went back into the house to refill my watering can (...which I purchased brand new because I was going to become a master gardener).  By the time I returned to the deck to water the other plants, my wilting plant was already dry again.  I watered the other two plants and they looked satisfied.  What was the problem?  I remembered that I bought my plant with one green tomato on the vine.  It came with the soil provided.  The other two I planted myself in pots with organic soil that holds water for longer periods of time.

This is like our walk with the Lord.  When we invest in things kingdom worthy we will not wither as fast when the storms come and the weather is unpredictable.  But if we invest in things that do not satisfy us spiritually, eventually the soil will not be able to help us but for just a short while.

I read a quote by Robert J. Morgan recently.  He said, "I have found that through scripture memory the incredible treasures of Scripture are not only just available to my mind, but they inform my whole being in a way that is a substantial testimony to the power of the Word of God."  He also said this in regards to our minds:  "A person's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth.  If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind."


So I will continue to rescue this plant with water.  I will continue to breath in the scriptures and rescue my mind and heart from the overgrowth of the world.

Welcome summer.  I have missed you.

My mind is so full it has gone blank...

Today I feel like mush.  Such an eloquent, sophisticated and descriptive word choice.  I have so many things crammed into my mind right now that this morning I can't decipher any of them.  Some word pictures that come to mind are

• a backed up disposal needing desperately to be drained...the more you plunge and stir , the cloudier it becomes
• a computer loaded with a lot of important information suddenly crashes and the screen is either frozen completely or blank....the dreaded black or blue screen...POOF!  All info is gone!

I finally have a moment today to sift through my mess and I find myself unable to find anything.  It's as if the laundry pile is so high and so mixed up that I will never find the matching socks.  (sadly this is not only figurative, but literal)  I keep trying to think...and I get confused.  I don't know where to begin.

I think we all have experienced this more often that we would care to admit.  I am afraid if I close my eyes and try to calm my mind with the intent of bringing clarity to the fog....I will simply fall ASLEEP!

I remember being in this place years ago when I was in my early twenties.  I was hanging on by one frayed thread.  I had not been still long enough to even attempt to find clarity.  I was playing for a church service and the time came for the special music.  The soloist was using a track and I made my way over to my little chair behind the piano where I sat during the sermon.  I remember sitting there and holding on for dear life.  She started to sing and these were the words to her song:  (you can listen HERE to an arrangement by a choir that is quite lovely)

Rest, the Lord is near, refuse to fear, enjoy His love.
Trust, His mighty power fills every hour of all your days...
There is no need for needless worry, with such a Savior,
we have no cause to ever doubt, 
His perfect Word still reassures in every trial.
Call Him if you grow frightened...call Him, with loving care,
He'll lift your burden and you'll rest, the Lord is near,
Refuse to fear, enjoy His love.



I wept.  Literally wept.  The sobs that make noise.  Thankfully I could keep them quiet.  I was having trouble catching my breath.  Only one sweet friend saw me and came over to ask if I was okay after the service.  Thankfully my release was not a distraction.  It was however, unexpected.  

Thankfully I am not in the weeping mood today...just cluttered and foggy.

I will have to start small.  

One load of laundry, figuratively and literally.

If I can make that much room in my mind (and laundry baskets) I may be able to breathe a little easier and maybe, just maybe I'll find that missing sock.  

So what is wrapped around YOUR vacuum cleaner brush?

The house was quiet this evening.  One daughter is on an overnight field trip and the other is at a skating party.  I decided to do a little straightening and vacuuming.  As I swept the upstairs hallway, I began noticing that the vacuum didn't seem to be picking up much dirt and dust.  If fact, I don't think it was picking up anything at all.  This has happened before, but after cleaning the dirt container it usually goes back to working normally.  This time, that wasn't happening.  I turned it off, sat on the floor and turned the vacuum over.  I couldn't believe what I saw.  I would post a picture but people would judge me, surely they would.  The amount of "stuff" wrapped around my brush was so thick I couldn't see the brush!  I was so embarrassed....and there was no one home to see it!  I didn't even want the cat to look.  After a half hour of tedious operating, my brush looks like new.

This got me to thinking about how hard we work at cleaning up the messes in our lives.  We work very hard to keep things in our lives looking neat and put together.  There's really nothing wrong with that.  We want order, happiness and calmness.  When things get "messy"at home or at work we quickly act to clean things up so all will be well again.  No one likes to live in a mess or chaos.  The problem is that we are so busy cleaning up the messes around us that we forget that all the dirt and grunge has to go somewhere.  Before long, we are unable to really clean things up because we haven't properly disposed of the grime and trash.  Cleansing is as important as the cleaning process.  It would be like scrubbing toilets and never washing your hands afterwards.  My vacuum cleaner brush was a wonderful visual for me.  My vacuum had worked hard to clean up my messes...but I forgot to clean and take care of the "cleaner".  We have to let things go.  Put them to rest.  Bury the mess.  Forget it and move on.  I've had many messes in my life that I have replayed over and over again.....knowing they were all cleaned up.....but for some reason I kept revisiting them.  I am learning to let them go, forgive, put them to rest, and start with a clean vacuum.

Black (not brown) Thumb

I bought a tomato plant today.  This may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me.  I can't grow anything except mold....and I can do that without even trying.  So today, on a whim, I stopped in the hardware store and they had some tomato plants.  As the girls and I made our way to the car with the fragrant tomato plant, we started talking about growing vegetables.   Before we'd even made it out of the parking lot, the girls had already decided we should grow peppers, lettuce, beans, and they got all excited planning where they might be able to put this magnificent garden in our uneven backyard.  I looked at them and said, "Let's just see if I can keep this one little tomato plant alive."  They laughed the rest of the way home, agreeing that was the best plan.  They told me they would help me keep it alive.  My husband has his doubts.  It was written all over his face when he came home at lunchtime to the excited squeals of the girls announcing that "MOMMY BOUGHT A TOMATO PLANT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"  Yes, the announcement was followed by much mockery and laughter.  I'll show them.  I think I'll charge them for the tomatoes.

I have enjoyed the last few days of this much needed spring break.  Tonight I have a homemade soup cooking.  It's chicken, zucchini, spinach, carrots, and onions.  I feel so domestic and relaxed.  My washing machine is humming happily. (It ought to...it's brand new.  The old one died....twice.)
The girls are happily playing and GETTING ALONG.  Of course if they don't they have horrible punishments like cleaning the kitchen or doing chores while linking arms and staying glued together.  It makes life interesting.